30 Things I Learned, Loved, & Let Go of Before Turning 30

No one can stop me from being excited for 30. Twenties, in all their recklessness and fun, can be a grueling uphill battle — establishing careers, homes, relationships, all from the ground up, and all while trying to heal from hits we take along the way.

Thirty feels like a turned corner. Like light on the horizon. But it took a lot of hard-earned lessons to get here. Here are 30 things I learned, loved, and let go of on my messy, whimsical, winding journey to 30.

1. I let go of waiting for the right time.

This moment, as you’re reading this right now, is the youngest you’ll ever be again.

That realization lives rent-free in my head and so I act accordingly. I let go of “one day,” of “maybe later,” and “in another life.” I shoot my shots, put myself out there, and do the things I’ve always wanted to do. Why wait?

2. I learned to live more intentionally.

If it doesn’t align with the life I’m creating, it’s not for me. This mindset guides the things I buy, the clothes I wear, the food I eat, the people I surround myself with.

3. I love having signature beverage orders now.

Gone are the days of fumbling through menus guessing at what cocktails I might like, or drinking coffee because that’s what people do, even though it makes me wired in the worst way.

Turns out I’m a tea girlie. I love iced matcha lattes, coconut water (with a splash of lemonade + San Pellegrino), and strawberry margaritas. And, of course, the occasional Diet Coke — that hasn’t changed.

4. I let go of people-pleasing.

R.I.P. to the version of me who said yes when she wanted to say no and carried the weight of everyone else’s comfort. She was doing way too much.

5. I love self-care rituals.

Self-care is sacred and should be treated as such. It’s precious time to give back to yourself after pouring so much into others, and you deserve the very best.

Whether it’s making a soothing cup of tea, having a spa night at home, or going for a walk, I treat it like a special event just for me. I take my time, stay in the present, and make it a little extra.

6. I let go of keeping myself on mute.

Textbook introvert/wallflower/not one to make waves. That girl was taking notes the whole time. Now she’s got a lot to say.

That’s dramatic. I really just mean I speak up more now — I take up space where I used to shrink. And life has been much more fun

ever since.

7. I let go of trying to control every outcome.

I used to micromanage my own life, and had I not burned myself out that way, I may have never experienced the kind of magic that happens when you let the universe take the wheel.

Some of the most profound lessons I’ve learned, the beautiful and the heartbreaking, came from letting life surprise me.

8. I recognize the privilege of choice. And I don’t take it lightly.

It’s not lost on me that I am one of the first and few women in my lineage who has had the freedom to choose her own timing and path in life.

I’ve lived on my own and I’ve traveled on my own. I took my time getting married and I’ll keep taking my time going forward, if only because I can, in honor of anyone who couldn’t.

9. I learned that joy is rebellion.

There are a select few who benefit from keeping us stressed, depressed, drugged-up, and numbed-out. So, I choose to feel everything, even when it hurts. I choose to stay playful, to laugh until I cry, to find beauty in the mundane.

Build up that joy muscle so strong that nothing and no one can bring you back down.

10. I love connecting with nature.

It’s my church. I grew up barefoot in pluff mud, marsh grass, and dirt roads. I love mountains and rainstorms and cute lil’ critters.

If you’re ever feeling down, walk outside and touch some grass. Better yet, swim in some salt water. You’ll be absolved of all worries.

11. I started gardening.

Hardly. And not well, I might add. I may be disappointing the green thumbs of the family, but…baby steps.

It started with a butterfly garden, and I’ve expanded into herbs. I’m overly excited to use my own homegrown herbs in my recipes now. That’s 30 for you.

12. I let go of some friendships a little too soon.

Hurt people hurt people, and I certainly did my fair share of cord cutting over the years when I should have had a conversation.

I treat my friendships with much more reverence and gratitude now.

13. I value family time more than ever.

I spent the majority of the summer of my 30th birthday back in my hometown surrounded by all four of my grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles, the whole lot. And I cherished every moment.

I listened to old family stories as I polished my grandmother’s silver, I watched my favorite shows with my mom, got some river time in with my dad. And all of that meant more to me now that it ever has.

14. I pay much more attention to UV and SPF.

I was definitely the teen and twenty-something on the beach in July with no sunscreen, just tanning oil. I’ve since evolved. Now I at least check the UV and my tanning oil now includes SPF.

Maybe not where I should be by 30, but I’m getting there. I’m also looking for the best SPF makeup for everyday wear — when I find it, I’ll link it here. Drop your recs in the comments.

15. I learned to listen to my intuition.

Somewhere along the way, I started to gaslight myself into not trusting my gut. I learned the hard, long way that the voice in your head telling you something isn’t right…it’s truth seeking its way out.

If you hear a call that is leading you elsewhere, it won’t stop ringing until you answer it. Trust your gut and follow where it leads. Anything else often leads to regret and haunting what-ifs.

16. I learned just how bad I want to meet the best version of myself.

If we really do only have one life, I think we all deserve to know what it feels like to be our healthiest, most radiant, confident selves. This mindset keeps me moving toward my goals whenever I start to backtrack.

17. I stopped trying to fit in a box.

The brain loves putting things (and people) in categories, and I realized I was doing this with myself, too.

So much of our youth is spent trying different sports, activities, groups, and seeing what fits best. I struggled to feel like I fully fit in any them. But maybe we’re not supposed to.

18. I learned to save and invest.

The earlier you learn this lesson, the better, but it can be overwhelming when you’re just getting started. Like everything else, it’s about building smart, healthy habits that lead to growth over time.

Every time you set aside a little money, you are sending your future self a gesture of love.

19. I appreciate the finer things in life.

Younger me didn’t savor sips of fine wine, or practice enough gratitude for family Edisto vacations, or truly appreciate a homecooked meal that took all day to prepare.

Now, I know exquisite, rare, and holy when I see it and savor every second.

20. I learned to live with the apologies and truths I never got.

Free yourself. Sometimes people can’t meet you there. And that silence will always say more about them than it does about you.

21. I love my heritage.

I take a lot of pride in my home state of South Carolina and the hardworking Scotch-Irish ancestors who brought my family here.

I come from a long line of farmers, drinkers, artists, and storytellers, all with their own heartache and secrets they passed down. The older I get, the more I want to know about them.

22. I learned that life is the messy grey area.

Again, the mind has a tendency to put things in categories. This is black, this is white. But life is chaos, ambiguity, complexity, and mess. Nothing about it is linear. It’s always more than this or that.

And that shift in mindset opens up infinite other possibilities.

23. I stopped letting overthinking stifle my creativity.

There’s an overflowing file of unfinished projects and ideas that never saw light because perfectionism stopped me in my tracks.

Now when I take on a creative project, I am more conscious about letting the art move through me rather than me questioning and overthinking every minute detail. And my art is better for it.

24. I let go of false narratives.

We all have stories we tell ourselves about our own lives, experiences, perspectives — about where we came from and what we’re here for.

I learned to question those narratives. Clear the noise to make room for what’s true. You might just see yourself in a new light.

25. I prioritize quality over quantity.

This has always been true for my relationships, but now my shopping habits are finally starting to align. If you’ve ever identified as a Maxxinista, this one’s for you.

I used to love a haul from TJ or Marshall’s, but these days I see much more value in investing in higher quality pieces that are timeless and lasting.

26. I learned money isn’t everything.

I girl-bossed my way through my twenties as many of us do. I climbed, I advocated for myself, I overworked, but with the bonuses came burnout and health decline.

Sure, I was able to afford some incredible experiences, but never without the dark cloud of a toxic workplace looming. In the end, it simply wasn’t worth it. I make less now and I’ve never been happier.

27. I keep my inner child alive and well.

Part of growing up is that everything is new. And when we’re young, new means better. It’s why we’re in such a rush to get older.

But at some point in all that growing up, in all that chasing newness, we can lose our sense of self. Connecting with your inner child feels like coming home to yourself.

So, I belt out my Broadway showtunes, treat myself to patisserie themed Jellycats, and add glitter to anything I can.

28. I learned we never stop learning.

Twenty-something me thought she could graduate, get the job, and coast from there. Naïve, simple girl.

I learned more about life in my first year out of school than I did in all my years in college. I learn more every day. And I love that learning leads to growth and change and becoming. That’s the exciting part.

29. I let go of comparison.

I try to, anyway. We are all on different journeys, on different timelines, with our own trials and tribulations. If I sense myself starting to compare, I try to redirect that energy and focus toward my own journey instead.

30. I learned to love myself.

Finally (!!), I went from being my own worst enemy and toughest critic to my biggest cheerleader and hype-woman. That shift is everything.

I think it came as a result of all the other lessons I learned to get here. I’m grateful for every scraped knee, every heartbreak, and every awakening that led me to 30. I look forward to what this next decade has to teach me and for every unexpected turn along the way.

Relate to any of these life lessons or want to share your own? Drop a note in the comments!